The roads we chose and the ones that chose us

Are you scared of becoming your parent?
August 28, 2018
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The roads we chose and the ones that chose us

Ever wonder how our life changes, or look back and wonder when it changed, or what happened that led you to the place where are you now? What were the decisions and choices you made that changed your path and brought you to this spot? If you can backtrack that path in your heart, can you go back to a particular crossroads to choose again?

As human beings we go through life thinking and working towards a better future, by default. We have a dream, goal or aim we want to achieve, and we want every little step we take to lead us in that direction. We have expectations about the outcomes we imagine. But often, somewhere along the way, an unexpected thing happens and changes our life. Sometimes, this unexpected thing and the changes it brings are terrible and frightening.


One moment you are standing on firm ground in this thing called life, and the next it feels like a hurricane swept you up and threw you somewhere far away. In this new, far off, unfamiliar land, you don’t know where to go or how to return to the firm ground you knew before. This land is dark and painful. At moments it feels like you have hit rock bottom, or fallen into the inferno. All of the problems you had before now seem small and unimportant. It is remarkable how we often go day in and day out carrying stress over so many things, situations and people–until something big happens and changes our perspective.

I have been through this hurricane. My way back from the dark land was long and painful. I sometimes feel that my journey back is still not over (and may never truly be over), but I am proud of myself for the distance I have traveled and what I have learned on the way.
 
The amazing thing about this dark place is that, as painful and lonely as it is for you, you often cannot see it for what it is. People around you see it, your loved ones and friends that visit you see it, but you are consumed with so much pain that you can not see that there is a brighter world beyond your dark island. Many times, your friends and family do not know how to reach through the fog to help you. You welcome them when they visit, but their visits feel surreal:  like you are watching your own funeral where they have only come to express their condolences. Your emotional pain is so big and the journey back is so long that you become numb. Your tears roll down your cheeks, there is a wedge of despair lodged in your throat that you can neither swallow nor spit out. It never leaves. And some days you find yourself in a fetal position on the floor agonizing over where on that path you took the wrong turn that trapped you in this place.
 
The truth is that sometimes in life things happen without you making a wrong turn at all. Unpredictable things that change our lives forever can happen without notice or explanation. Death, illness, break-ups, job loss. Sometimes the hurricane needs no external cause at all; a switch just flips inside you. You are left wondering in an endless loop: WHY? Why this? Why me? Why now?
 
You can search the answer scientifically, spiritually, anywhere and everywhere. Life will prove to you again and again that this journey you are going through holds lessons for you. These lessons will ease the pain, and help make sense out of it. I am here to help you find the lessons you are meant to learn, and help guide you back into the light. You just need to keep moving forward. The lessons for each person are different: I can’t tell you in advance what your lessons will be, but I can certainly help you not to walk your journey alone!

Trust your journey no matter how painful it is, have faith that in time it will lead you to a brighter place, and this pain you are going through will benefit you!

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                                                                                                                                                M

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